10 HABITS THAT MAKE YOU ATTRACTIVE, EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT
You may not have control over what your mama gave ya, but you sure have control over your habits. We all know that one person that is just a great person to be around. They are funny, interesting, engaging, lovable, kind, and successful. Consequently, we find him or her every bit irresistible. Here are some habits that make a person attractive, even if he or she is not.
1. Relentless Grit. People who have grit rock! The relentless pursuit of goals, regardless of what life may throw at you, is the hallmark of tenacious goal-achieving people. Perseverance gives off an air of confidence that is undeniably attractive. It inspires me when I see such determination in my friends and employees. It shows that they know their goals and find ways to get them done. I am reminded of my good friend Jeff Maganis, CEO of Chargetech, who says, “I just want to win at life.” People that demonstrate constant grit in work and in their personal lives exude a glow of satisfaction. Seeing your grind pay off looks good on everyone.
2. Sincerity and Genuine Interest. Sincerity in your words and actions is proof of your authenticity, so mean what you say and do. People will value your opinion when they know that your interests are genuine. Believe me when I say that it is easy to spot a disingenuous person. You’re not that slick. Be sincere with your delivery and no one will doubt your intentions. I find that birds of a feather flock together. So if you’re genuine, you’ll be surrounded by genuine people – not always, but often. Sincerity has it’s own marks of beauty.
3. Well-placed Curiosity. I was recently at a posh lounge in Downtown LA and by happenstance I met a group of very successful and generous people. I ended up getting grilled by one of them on issues ranging from my personal finances to what my company was doing, and even about what I was personally doing to make society better. Some would have thought that the line of questioning was a bit aggressive and out of place, but a part of me felt the questioner had well-placed curiosity. The willingness to ask questions so openly was intriguing. If you have a ferocious appetite for knowing more, that inner-spark will surely get others to notice you and thus foster great admiration.
4. Unwavering Honesty. Honesty can be a tricky thing to maintain, because being straightforward without being crass isn’t always easy. Being crass is not attractive – unless you have the social graces of a 7-year-old. There are very few people who can pull off being crass -and you’re not Lady Mormont. How you say things matter. Learn the fundamentals of being honest, not only in what you say, but also in your intentions. To be honest with others, you have to be honest with yourself. Acknowledge and own your mistakes, so that people will trust your integrity and be more receptive to hearing your honest opinions. If you can maintain this level of honesty, you will gain loyalty from your fellow peers. It’s attractive to meet honest people.
5. Eternal Optimism. My father is the eternal optimist. The man sees the best in everyone and in every situation. No matter the situation, he’ll always point to the silver lining in the cloud. How you choose to approach life is entirely up to you. I believe, however, that having an optimistic outlook in life will bring you more goodwill than letdowns. When you put out positive energy, people will instantly be attracted to your contagious attitude. What I find so attractive is when someone’s eternal optimism fuels his/her passion. Without optimism, you cannot expect to gain a whole lot in life. Share your optimistic spirit with everyone and they will revel in your positive aura.
6. Know Your Self-Worth. It’s always disappointing and astounding to find people who don’t recognize their own self-worth in either employment or in their personal relationships. At a recent conference, I met someone who was very intelligent, engaging, and kind, but was wasting her talents at a company that she was not very passionate about. She was making zero impact and even disliked her coworkers to the point that she would forgo telling them how her weekend went – even though her weekends were typically activity-packed. As a matter of fact, she recently quit her job when she realized that deducing her talents to a dollar amount and trading her time for a paycheck was not conducive to her goals. She called me shortly after she quit and just hearing the optimism in her voice was charming and delightful. Always know your worth and others will find your confidence incredibly appealing.
7. Unconditional Openness. Being open to new experiences, other people, new ventures, and new adventures is incredibly liberating and fulfilling. It’s much easier and more comfortable to maintain status quo – to stay within your own circle of friends or to only venture within your comfort zone. But I promise you, amazing things happen when you open yourself up to new experiences and adventures. Allowing yourself to be open for communication is how others will see you as approachable. By inviting and welcoming people into your space, you create a level of comfort and trust that inherently makes you attractive. Most importantly, you will build a strong foundation for relationships, and therefore eliminate any intimidation or misunderstandings. Always keep your door open and others will gladly accept the invitation.
8. Have Deal Breakers. If you know me, you know I have deal breakers. I’m not shy about them. There are not many, but the ones I have are lines that don’t get crossed. What do I mean when I say “deal breakers?” Stand for something. There are things that define you. Respect them. Don’t break them and don’t allow others to break them. To optimize your most unique self, make people remember you for those qualities. Hopefully, they are universally good and reasonable qualities. Nevertheless, having lines that may never be crossed implicitly encourages discipline, which in itself is attractive.
9. Visceral Consistency. I’ve talked about consistency in business, so it’s not surprising that I dislike inconsistent people. Inconsistency means you’re unpredictable. You can exhibit every great deal of good habits in the world, but it won’t mean a thing if you’re not consistent. To be consistent with your habits builds your reputation – your reputation is all you got. Being consistent with good habits not only shows that you have good habits, but most importantly, you believe in them. Don’t give anyone a doubt in their minds that you are not your authentic self. You will be much more respected if you are consistent in your beliefs, values, and behavior.
10. Keeping Your Promises. You are nothing without your word. Don’t be someone who breaks their promises – your credibility will suffer. No matter how small or insignificant or trivial it may be, try to not compromise when making a promise. It’s a slippery slope. Dinner with friends, offering to pick up coffee, or sending that email – keep your promises. This is not only about you, but the reciprocal relationship between you and the other person. The stakes are higher, so you need to consider everyone that’s involved. Establish your reliability and keep your promises. People will value you for your commitment and in the long-run, they will be able to trust you on your word alone.
These are just some of the habits that I find can make you more attractive, beyond the physical sense. Do you agree with these habits? Let me know what you find attractive in another person – I’d love to hear your thoughts.